Don't know why i'm so negative these days. Isn't like anyone can tell anyway. And the reason i'm blogging this? 'Cause my blog is dead and no one comes here, so it doesn't matter if i'm being depressing.
That said, i'd rather whoever sees this don't tag me with sympathetic messages. 'Cause i'm not freaking doing this/ writing this for sympathy. That's just dumb, stupid, ridiculous and annoying. And obviously i'm none of the above. Oh no, i've never annoyed anyone/ been mean to anyone/ been really sarcastic to anyone. Especially not now. So you see, that's how i have so many friends. No, i'm definitely not being sarcastic.
What the fuck i honestly don't know what's wrong with me. Some days i wake up and i don't want to go to school. 'Cause it isn't worth going. Some days i just feel so alone. Like (almost) no one cares about me. Like there's (almost) nothing worth living for.
Zz. Maybe i'll get referred to a psychologist after people read this. As in, people who don't know me. To hell with it.
Speaking of hell, i think i'm going there when i die. I mean, not that i really believe there's hell - i've never really believed in an afterlife till you came along - but the concept of hell, as a place where people have to face the consequnces of the bad/ evil things they've done. And i think that despit some people who might think that being a good/"guai" student like me, i could do no wrong, they are SO wrong. There're so many things i wished i didn't do or wished i could've done better.
...okay, now i'm starting to scare myself. That looked like a suicide note/ letter. NOT that i'd have any idea how one would look like. (Of 'cause not, no way.) And i need to stop being depressing.
Cross-country tomorrow. Hope i don't die. (crosses fingers and prays hard) OR maybe it won't make any difference. Except to you.
Later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)