It's no fun when you're alone

Since shieu huei asked me so nicely to do this quiz, i shall be kind enough to attempt it. (LOL. Where did that come from?)

1. What do you think an ideal best friend should be like?
Uh. Someone who knows you really well, accepts you for who you are and is (almost) always there for you?

2. If you can have a dream come true, what is it?
Um. It's unprintable. Really. I wanna keep this blog PG, see.

3. Who's butt would you like to kick the most now?
No one, actually.

4. What will you do if you have a billion dollars?
Uh, spend it? What else can i do with it? No point keeping it. Currency will drop, y'know.

5. What's your ideal person like?
Kinda like a best friend actually. But more so. And cares for me. Alot. (Yeah, i know. High expectations.)

6. Which is more blessed? To love someone? Or to be loved by someone?
To love someone. Duh.

7. Is there anything that had made you extremely happy?
Uh. Not really. Or maybe i'm just a very negative/ pessimistic person.

8. Define 'LOVE'.'
Well. From personal experiences, i think i'd say it can be described as 'bittersweet'. There isn't one definition. As far as i know.

9. If the person you liked secretly is attached, what will you do?
... Jump off a building. No, seriously. I'm one sad, pathetic person.

10. How would you see yourself in 10 years' time?
Um. Attached and contented? Or single and regretful. (I know. I'm just listing out the possibilities. Dun blame me. I'm lame.)

11. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Friends. Uh, more-than-friendly friends. School. (As if.) My (non-existent) social life. Family.

12. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Uh. Shieu Huei? Kinda cute girl. Spastic (most of the time). Sometimes really "should whack". LOL.

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Married and poor. (I'm an idealist, i know. Romantic and stuff. LOL.)

14. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Check my mobile phone for SMSes. Seriously. I'm a SMS junkie.

15. Would you give all in a relationship?
Um, depending...? But yeah, if i really liked the guy.

16. How would you rate the perfection of your life now?
Hmm. Now? As in, this minute? I'd say a 6, at least. Or maybe a 7. =)

17. What type of person do you hate the most?
B****es. Really. People who think they're better than others. Irritating, annoying people. People who are lame. People who are overly-dramatic/ emotional/ helpful... And the list goes on. Sorry, lotsa people piss me off. Sometimes i hate myself too.

18. Tag 8 people to do this quiz.
Do i have to? Nah. Dun feel like it. You know me, never doing what i'm told.

Yep. That's the end of the quiz. If you read through it you probably know me better. Or maybe not, since i dun always tell the truth. In fact, how do you know that i'm not lying right now? LOL.

Anyway, abrupt change of topic. Freakin' projects. I STILL dunno my math group. Will someone please help me??! LOL. (Oops. Using too many lols.)

Looking forward to the class outing. And can we take cable car there? Please? *flashes a smile* Nothing else to talk about. Another post sometime soon, i promise.

Later.

I promised not to be emo, but promises are so easily broken

Been feeling down. Since Sunday night. Those who know why, keep it a secret. For my sake. Those who dun, you probably dun need to know. Too much knowledge isn't good.

Haiz. I know i promised at least 2 people that i won't emo anymore, but i really can't help it this time. I wanted to have a good time but it turned out to be so screwed... Sometimes i wonder if anything is worth living for. Not that i'm getting sucidal thoughts or anything, but still. Sometimes life really sucks big time. I'm just gonna randomly write whatever crap that comes to my mind. And i ain't exactly in the most stable frame of mind. Not crazy, but not emotionally stable.

To quote from HSM 2 song 'Gotta go my own way'... "i get my hopes up/ and i watch them fall everytime/ another color turns to grey/ and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away. Somehow it perfectly describes my not-so-perfect human emotions.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I say what doesn't kill you immediately builds up and slowly kills you over time. They say being emo is a waste of time. But then living is a waste of death. They say lying isn't good for you. But sometimes telling the truth is not much better. The truth hurts alot at times. Sometimes too much. So much that you can't bear it.

This is for someone in particular...
I'm sorry for the hurt i've caused you. I'm sorry that it turned out this way. I'm sorry that you had to suffer. I'm sorry for the wrong that i've done. I'm sorry that they found out. I'm sorry that i let them find out. I'm sorry for emo-ing. I'm sorry for everything i couldn't do.

You are my everything/ Nothing without you/ Dun wanna be without you
Without you, life's meaningless/ Darkness and despair/ Dizzying fall of misery
Ambiguity of dusk/ The brilliance of dawn/ The two of us, together.

Lots more stuff i thought of, but putting it on the blog would be SO obvious. Feel loads better. So blogging does help.

Later.

They say lying is bad, but sometimes the truth is way worse

I used to lie. A lot. No, this isn't a confession. But it's the next best thing (coming from me) at least. I used to be something of a compulsive liar. I used to lie all the time. Not anymore. I dun have some sentimental story about how i stopped lying all the time. I just stopped. Stopped lying as much. Tried to tell the truth more often, especially when it's the little things that dun really matter. My parents trusted me more, i got less paranoid. I stopped lying all the time. Or so i thought.

Now the past has come back to haunt me. Once again, i find myself in the same/ similar situation as 2 years ago. I've gotta lie. I've gotta make a choice: do i wanna gain the trust of my parents or do i wanna keep what i've waited so long for? My mind says the logical path to take is to tell my parents. Yet my heart tells me something else altogether. They say to follow your heart, and i'm doing just that. Did i make the right choice? Maybe i'll regret it in the future, but for now, despite all the suffering i'm causing myself, (just to be with him) it's worth it.

You mean it's the holidays now? Where's the slacking they promised?

It's finally the holidays! After 10 (horrible) weeks of hell in school, it's finally that 1 month that all school-going kids look forward to. Yay.

It doesn't feel like the holidays though. Tomorrow's a Monday, the first day of the school holidays. Yet i keep getting this feeling that there's school tomorrow. Weird, huh? Technically i DO need to go back to school, but you know what i mean. And yeah, going back to school for CCA. (No surprise.) What else?

Holidays are meant to be fun, relaxing, whatever. NOT packed with CCA, project work and homework. Apparently teachers dun get the concept of holidays = no homework. In RV, our schedules are probably more packed during school holidays than during the term. I've already got 2 group projects (one of which i dun even know who i'm doing with) and tons of homework. Not that i'm complaining about group work. LOL.

Is it really too much to ask for a holiday? As in, a REAL holiday. So that i can really slack for once. I swear, i've gotta be one of those poor pathetic few who dun even know what slacking is really like. Not that slacking is good, but still.

So, yeah that's all. For now. Nothing else to complain.

Later.

Update!!!

Wow. Long time since i last posted. And SO much stuff has happened i dun know where to start. Uh. Okay, let's start with all those results we got back. I got... 53.5/70 for chinese, 50/70 for science, 41.5/50 for geog, 26/40 for history, 92/100 for math and 27/40 for LA. I was SO shocked with my LA results. Like, WTH?! And i thought my LA was (sorta) good. Damn. *starts scolding vulgarities*

Oops. I really must stop being so vulgar. I seriously think it's 'cause of sitting next to KL for 1 term. That guy is influential, i tell you. I wanna change seats. *pouts* LOL. Gotta stop doing that too.

Back to the topic about results. One word: disappointed. Like, wth. I missed my target GPA by 0.1. How close is that?! And i lost to KL. By 0.1. Grr. TKL I HATE YOU... Joking.

... Being totally random here, but i really hope i can go for (most of) the class chalet. If there's gonna be one. Sometimes, having a "hiong" CCA really sucks. *gasp* OMG i didn't just say that. Bad girl, yuyan. LOL.

Later. (Maybe i'll post again today.)

Life is a bed of roses - and roses have thorns.

Haiz. Life sucks.
... Actually, i'm just generally pissed. No idea why. Wait, i think i do. It's all 'cause of HER.

Oh what the heck, i'll just put her name here. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing she can do to me will ever scare me. HER = jasmine. A. K. A. "that irritating, extra, annoying, pain-in-my-*** girl". Who never gets a hint, no matter how obvious.

(I know i'm being random again, but still.)
Jasmine sucks. She topped the class for science. WTH. Hate her. Now she's all cocky and stuff. Damn her lah.

And her voice sucks lah. Still wanna sing. Spoil the whole group's song. Lousy lah. Stupid girl. LOL. I might continue insulting her. But i guess it's enough for now. Dun wanna foul my blog too much. It makes people sick just thinking/ seeing her, see. Kind, thoughtful me. LOL.

Later.

First Post...

Whee... First post ever... Should be interesting.

So. I shall apologise in advance, in case anyone is offended by whatever comments i posted. Sorry. Anyway this blog's gonna be like, my emotional outlet or whatever, so hopefully i dun offend anyone.


Hmm. Actually thought of doing RLFRS (for those who knows what it means), but decided against it. SO unoriginal and waay outta my character. I've got my own style, thank you very much. Will definitely end my posts in a nicer way. When i get inspiration. Any ideas?

Later.